Practical Wedding Advice from Top San Francisco Wedding Planner: BEST MAN DUTIES

Martha Stewart Weddings reached out to us last month asking for our thoughts on what a Best Man needs to do to fulfill his honorary role. We were ecstatic to contribute, and you can read the final article here.

Our Senior Event Producer Amanda came up with a phenomenal list, and since only a few made the cut to Martha Stewart Weddings' article, we decided it would be fitting to post the rest here on our blog! If you're going to be a Best Man (or even a groomsman) at a wedding, we hope you'll find our list helpful, and that you will be inspired (or at least encouraged?) to step up and show your best friend some serious love.

Fun & Creative Must-Dos:

1. Add some “Man-Time” to the Bride’s pre-wedding bridal shower

When its time for the Bride to be pampered by her friends and family at her bridal shower, offer to take the Groom out for drinks at a bar or grab lunch at a super trendy eatery. It will be a great way for the Groom to have an equally awesome day as his Bride, and it will remind the Groom that your “guy time” won’t end just because he’s getting married.

2. Incorporate some team-building time to the Bachelor Party

Similar to the note below about the “hello” email, it is a nice idea to incorporate a team-building activity at the Bachelor Party. Whether its a hike, structured activity, or simply drinking games at a bar, it is a good way for all the groomsmen to break the ice, and it may just provide you with a lot of material for your Best Man speech!

3. Take the Groom on a pre-wedding day pamper

Brides shouldn’t get to have all the fun! Offer to accompany your Groom as he gets his “wedding day cut” or take him out to a gentlemen’s shave shop so he can sit back and enjoy a nice shave/trim. It is a modern day pamper session with a classic/old school shave shop twist, and it is sure to help him relax!

4. Compliment the Bride on her look by telling her that she’s going to make her Groom weak in the knees. The moment after the Groom sees his Bride for the first time, and everyone has to head out for photos is the perfect time to head up to the Bride and compliment her ensemble. Letting her know she’s stunning and how lucky the Groom is a great way to set her mood before photos.

5. Deliver the best speech ever! The Best Man and Maid of Honor often lead the toasts at the wedding reception, and it’s a bit nerve-wrecking when you must do so in front of so many guests, most of whom you do not know. Deliver the best speech ever by incorporating a story that ties your connection to the Bride, so she feels welcome into your unique male-friendship. Top it off with a surprise twist like a gift under their seats/table, props to a funny story, or incorporating the band with musical references to your “back in the days” stories!

6. Send a bottle of champagne or sweets to their hotel room on their wedding night. We’ve heard of bridesmaids offering to decorate the wedding suite on the evening of the wedding, here’s a way to offer an equally sweet gesture without little effort at all! Call the hotel room service, and ask to deliver a bottle of champagne to the Bride & Grooms’ room on their wedding night. It will leave a lasting impression without requiring you to step away from the party!

Logistical Must-Dos:

1. Send the other groomsmen a “Hello” email to kick start a welcoming experience for the groomsmen. It is common that the Groom’s groomsmen are joined from all parts of his life, including siblings, future in-laws, family members, primary school classmates, college classmates, work field and beyond. Giving a “hello” email as the Best Man creates a sense of unity and helps the Groom feel at ease with all the favorite buddies he’s selected to stand beside him.

2. If you are married yourself, give the Groom some positive advice or words of wisdom on the morning of the wedding. Without a doubt, there are many things running through the Groom’s mind the night before and morning of his wedding. Not only is he thinking about logistical items around the actual wedding day, but chances are that he’s also thought about the marriage with his future Mrs. Offer some positive advice or words of wisdom to keep the Groom calm and happy.

3. Offer to do some heavy-lifting on the rehearsal day. It is common for the Bride and Groom to have a bunch of different items to transfer to the wedding venue, and they’re probably dressed sharply for their rehearsal dinner too. Offer to do some heavy lifting by delivering the boxes (wine, party favors, stationery, etc) for the couple, and it is sure to relieve some stress off their shoulders!

4. Say hello to the Groom’s parents and siblings, and introduce yourself to the Groom’s future in-laws. If you’ve been chosen as the Groom’s Best Man, chances are that his parents have known you for many years as well. Remember to say hello to the Groom’s parents and siblings if you haven’t seen them in a while, and let them know whats new since the last time you saw them. Also, its a good time to introduce yourself to the Groom’s future in-laws as well.

5. Introduce yourself to the bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor. Introduce yourself to the other bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor before you practice that walk down the aisle at the wedding rehearsal. Nothing is more awkward than shaking hands with the MOH just before you need to lock arms during the processional and recessional. Introduce yourself early on, and it will eliminate the awkwardness as well as keep the rehearsal focussed and on track.

6. Make sure the Groom looks effortless by carrying his phone, ID or checkbook in your jacket pocket

Let’s face it.. some of us are unable to unplug. If the Groom is weary about detaching from his phone, give him a sense of security by offering to hold the phone for him… but make sure it to place it in your jacket pocket in avoid the awkward bulge on the side of your pants pocket. If the Groom has a few gratuities or payments to pass along to vendors, offer to hold onto it for him or better yet.. offer to pass it along to his wedding planner so YOU ARE looking effortless too!

7. Make sure the Groom is having a blast, but make sure to keep the alcohol at a healthy and non-embarrassing pace. Everyone wants to have a memorable wedding day that they can smile back on for years, but no Groom wants to look back on his wedding day the same way as his college-day fraternity parties with one-too-many beer bong tournaments. Be a responsible Best Man and help make sure the Groom is still standing at the end of his wedding!